Looks like that's it . . . for now.

So I heard back from LDS Family Services on Monday night - they aren't willing to litigate Randi's case. They say it's too risky. I really don't think it would span years and years . . . we're not talking about a guy with a lot of money here . . . but their decision is final, and at least it's done.

I called Randi to offer to persue litigation on this end, but I haven't heard back. Considering I haven't heard back from her since we last talked over a week ago, I think the silence is my answer. For whatever reason, she's done. It is very saddening to me, but I also understand that she's been under an immense amount of stress with all of this and likely just feels she can't continue to fight.

So now that the door is closed, Kevin and I are searching for an open window.

We updated our website: www.ourforeverfamily.net is the link to it. It's nearly completed, now, and I will add a link to it on our adoption profile through LDS Family Services.

We're seeing if a friend of ours would be willing to come up with a drawing to go on a business card-like thing where we'll list our website. If he has time and wants to, we should be able to get things printed off and looking good shortly. And then we'll just spam them to everyone we know. :) The more people that know, the better chance we have of finding the right ones.

If I'm sounding like I'm totally over it, I'm not. I'm still heartbroken. But I recognize that I've done everything that I can, and that the decisions now are ones I have no control over. If Randi changes her mind and wants to fight, we'll be there in a heartbeat. But if not, then investing the energy back into the adoption process is . . . healing? . . . in a way. I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile in an otherwise powerless situation.

Other than that, I'm making myself stay busy. Kev and I are going to the state fair on Saturday and I'm hoping to start working full-time during the holiday season sometime soon. And, of course, Kev's busy getting job stuff figured out and we may be moving toward the first of the year. Sooooo . . . yeah. *laugh* Much to do, and not much time to do it in. But I'm better emotionally when I'm busy.

Went to the doctor on Monday afternoon and found out I have a staph infection. :( Just on my toes, it looks like, but the doctor has me on serious antibiotics (like 875? mg of amoxicillin and 125 of something else, twice a day) to take care of things. Fortunately it's not making me sick. I can't stand sitting on the couch unable to function anymore. :)

Listened to a really helpful and inspiring talk from General Conference yesterday that humbled my heart and helped me rekindle my faith. You can find it here: http://www.lds.org/conference/sessions/display/0,5239,49-1-775,00.html

It's the talk from Elder Spencer J. Condie. I'll link to the text when it comes out.

It was one of those talks where you know it wasn't meant JUST for you, but it sure feels that way. Thank you, Elder Condie.