Oh my goodness.

I can't believe it happened.

I'm PREGNANT!!!!

So let's back up a bit. I should probably put the whole ordeal down so I can remember it as one of those "you wouldn't believe what Mommy and Daddy were thinking" stories.

So Kev and I had invitro #2 scheduled for September 11, 2008 (yes, I noticed the date as well). We already had five beautiful little blastocysts who were in wonderful condition in their cozy little freezer, and the plan was to implant two of them this time since we wanted to give my chances a bit of a boost.

So commence the shots, the pills, the hormones . . . *laugh* Finally the 11th comes and (much to my boss' annoyance) we take the day off to have the transfer done. We get there and have an acupuncture treatment (which was actually pretty cool - I wasn't sure what to expect) and my bladder's almost full to bursting by the time it's done. I'm relaxed and happy and thrilled to not be hyperstiming like last time.

So the acupuncturist tells us the doctor wants to talk with us, and from what she's saying it just sounds like he wants to go over all the paperwork so we can get the transfer done. Fine, that's totally normal. We're ready.

Except.

He comes in and says that he doesn't know what to tell us . . . but they've thawed 4 of the five blastocysts so far. Two are dead. Two are barely hanging on for dear life. He says the chances are pretty much slim to none that they'll even implant, let alone be viable.

We were floored. How did we go from having five embryos where the lowest grade was a B (and most of them were in the A range!!!) to two dead and two at C- quality? He offered to go ahead and transfer them, and said he could also try to thaw the last one at this point and see what happened since there was basically no real chance all three would take. We told him to go ahead, and sobbed in each others' arms as he closed the curtain. We were angry, and scared, and I was ready to just put my clothes back on and go home. I didn't want to go through the "wait and see" feelings I'd had just a few months ago, this time with no real chance of success. I felt totally defeated.

So about 20 minutes later he comes back in and tells us he's thawed the last one. He says it's an A quality embryo. I didn't believe him. He said he'd taken pictures as proof. *laugh* Keep in mind that they generally thaw the ones with the best chance of survival first - so this was the runt of the litter, so to speak, but the only one with much of a chance after all was said and done. We decided to implant all three and go from there, though I hardly stopped crying until the acutal transfer took place and I saw how cute the little blastocysts were. *laugh* Yeah, I know. I'm a girl.

So fast forward a bit - I've told my school class about the invitro (which was probably not my best idea) so they're asking about it, but I'm really not feeling confident or even hopeful that things worked out this time. It feels like last time, only now the chances of the one viable blastocyst are even slimmer, so I ready myself for a negative. The next 9 days go by without much of anything - I start feeling a little bit like I'm getting ready for my period, but I have no real "pregnancy" feelings and the symptoms I am having are so light that I'm sure it's just my body getting ready to start menstruation. I even told my kids not to get their hopes up since I really felt absolutely nothing that I was told I could expect to.

Kev, on the other hand, is a mess. He's constantly worried and anxious, which makes me feel terrible because I feel like it's going to be another let down for him when the tests are negative (and another failure on my part). Two days before we're supposed to go in to have my hCG levels tested, he announces that he wants to have me take a pregnancy test.

This was after work, so not even the first-morning urine was going to be in our favor. I told him I'd take it, but he was going to have to realize that it was VERY likely going to be negative.

He said he was ready. So I took it.

We waited for a minute or so afterward and whadda ya know - I see no second line. So I head out to the kitchen to get it cleaned up for dinner and try to take my mind off of things. About 10 minutes later, Kev goes back into the bathroom and I hear his voice say "Chris? Come here."

"What?" I ask. "Do you see something?" (this was said with much doubt in my voice)

"I don't know. Just come here."

So I go in there and sure enough, there's a very, VERY faint second line. I didn't know what to say, or what to think. I just stared at it and told Kev "Yeah, there's definitely something there. I see it too." We very lightly tread on the topic that I might be pregnant (keep in mind, I'm just barely starting to think it's possible) and decide to test again the next morning, first thing.

The next morning (a Friday) comes and Kev looks for the second test that he's sure is under our sink.

No test.

So at 6:30 a.m., my dear sweet husband goes to the grocery store and buys TWO more BOXES of tests. I patiently wait and hold my bladder as best I can.

So the second round of tests are done (we do two more this time, of different brands), and we wait breathlessly for the results. I'm still sitting on the toilet at first, until I realize I should probably get washed up either way. *laugh* But I can't take my eyes off the tests, and by the time my hands are washed and things are put back on as they should be, I'm ready to see that dang little hourglass tell me SOMETHING. (I was looking at a digital test. Kev was looking at one that wasn't)

When it flashed "Pregnant," I squealed. Actually, I squee'd, which is higher pitched and often louder, then clamped a hand over my mouth as I realized it was still like 6:50 a.m. and our neighbors were not going to appreciate us waking them up. Kev's test also had a faint second line - definitely faint, but definitely there - and we proceeded to take the day off from work to celebrate (take that, Boss lady).

We took another three tests the next day before we went in for my blood draw and as they all read positive, we were on top of the world.

So that's mostly it. There have been some worries and scares so far (the first 10-12 weeks are pretty scary as far as miscarriage chances go), but I'm happy to report that we had two hCG tests and the scores went from 56.4 (pretty good) to 169 (VERY good) in three days. We also had our first ultrasound done this morning (was supposed to be Monday, but I freaked out when I saw blood in my underwear yesterday and the doctor was nice enough to let us come in today to make sure things are ok) and got to see the heartbeat! Kev was tearing up and I had such a thrill go through my body as I watched the flashing that I felt I could sit there for hours and just watch. The baby's heartbeat is 97 beats per minute (which is perfect, the doctor said), and the blood looks like it was just from my placenta growing and probably pushing through a blood vessel.

I can hardly believe it. I'm so afraid to be too excited yet, but I can't help it to a large extent. We're hopeful and I go back in two more weeks from Monday to have my next ultrasound. :D