So, in other words, it's good. :D
I don't think this was ever meant to be a mother/baby song, but both times I've heard it now it speaks to me that way. It's called "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts.
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
[Chorus]
Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.
I don't really believe in fate, and I don't believe that what we went through with all the fertility issues, failed adoptions, severe hyperstimulation, and IVF processes was "planned out" to happen as it did. I don't see God as a sadist. But I'm awfully grateful for where we are now in the process, and recognize that without all the pain over the past several years, we wouldn't be where we are currently. I will always miss our sweet Ayana, and ache for all the lost time where we were childless and hopeless. But I am SO thrilled to have the opportunity I have now, to carry our beautiful baby girl and give birth to her (hopefully) next month. She's truly our miracle.
Monday, April 13, 2009
I wrote a song.
(To the tune of "Do Your Ears Hang Low?")
Does your baby sit low?
Does she wiggle to and fro?
Can you snuggle her a lot?
Can you feel her little toes?
Does she push right on your bladder
and then go BOINGY BOINGY BOING?
Does your baby sit low?
*bows* I know. I'm musically gifted. I'll sign autographs later. ;)
Does your baby sit low?
Does she wiggle to and fro?
Can you snuggle her a lot?
Can you feel her little toes?
Does she push right on your bladder
and then go BOINGY BOINGY BOING?
Does your baby sit low?
*bows* I know. I'm musically gifted. I'll sign autographs later. ;)
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I have a random rant.
I just want to start by saying that I expect absolutely nothing for the birth of my baby from people. I know the economy's hit lots of people really hard, and others have family, time and other financial obligations. People that have wanted to do nice things for me have totally blown me away with their sweetness and generosity, and I am immensely grateful for it.
That being said and meant, I have to say I am going crazy about some of this. I have had two sweet people offer to throw me showers - neither of which was expected. Kev and I had planned to throw our own party later on, with no obligation of gifts. I made a registry in case people offered, though honestly it was mostly to keep track of what I wanted to get before our daughter's born. I put it on Amazon.com because that's where I do the majority of my shopping and we get really great deals from them.
In the past week I've had a couple incredibly dear, well-meaning family members who are attending one of my showers call me up and ask me what I want them to buy me. This makes me kind of uncomfortable, because I don't know what their budgets are and I have serious issues with feeling like I'm a burden on people anyway. But they insist to know what I want. So I tell them they're welcome to look at my registry on Amazon, where I still have items listed all the way from $15 to $190. I figure this is a nice way of avoiding the "what are you going to spend on me?" issue.
However, they get frustrated that I only have registered through Amazon. Now, I *had* registered at Target over a year ago, and I'd also registered at Babies R Us. However, as baby stuff tends to, their stock changes so frequently that it was frustrating to me to keep researching replacements for items that they'd decided to discontinue for whatever reason. Amazon is nice that way because, unless the manufacturer has stopped making it, I'm very likely to be able to find what I want. I like to have items that have been around for a little while and that are highly reviewed by several people - I've seen (and purchased) too many of the "new cute things" that end up being cheap junk three months down the road.
Now, I have *no* problem with people not going off of my registry. I have no problem with them looking at my registry and then finding the items at a different store. I don't even have a problem with them coming to my shower WITHOUT a present! But is it too much to ask that they do it without making me an part of the process? I feel like I'm in a no-win situation.
"What do you want me to get you?"
"Oh, you're too sweet. You know, I'm truly not expecting anything."
"No, I'm buying you something. What do you want?"
"Well, if you'd like to look at my registry, I have some items listed on Amazon.com."
"Are you registered anywhere else?"
"I'm not, unfortunately. I was but they kept discontinuing my stuff so I decided to keep it all in one place."
"Oh. Because I don't usually shop Amazon because *insert some excuse about shipping prices here.*"
"I understand. Well, you totally don't have to go off of the registry if you don't want to. Or, if you want, I get free shipping for most of the items - I can order it for you if you'd like."
*random uncomfortableness on both sides insues here, followed by me saying . . .*
"Well, you're welcome to look and see if you can find it somewhere local if you'd like. I'm not sure who has what in stock."
"*insert frustration about not knowing where else to find said item*"
"Yeah - well, you know, I'm truly fine with whatever you'd like to do. I'm just so glad you can celebrate with me. You truly don't need to bring me anything specific." (this is said sincerely, by the way)
"But I want to get you what you want! Tell me what you want."
...
Am I missing something? Help me out here.
That being said and meant, I have to say I am going crazy about some of this. I have had two sweet people offer to throw me showers - neither of which was expected. Kev and I had planned to throw our own party later on, with no obligation of gifts. I made a registry in case people offered, though honestly it was mostly to keep track of what I wanted to get before our daughter's born. I put it on Amazon.com because that's where I do the majority of my shopping and we get really great deals from them.
In the past week I've had a couple incredibly dear, well-meaning family members who are attending one of my showers call me up and ask me what I want them to buy me. This makes me kind of uncomfortable, because I don't know what their budgets are and I have serious issues with feeling like I'm a burden on people anyway. But they insist to know what I want. So I tell them they're welcome to look at my registry on Amazon, where I still have items listed all the way from $15 to $190. I figure this is a nice way of avoiding the "what are you going to spend on me?" issue.
However, they get frustrated that I only have registered through Amazon. Now, I *had* registered at Target over a year ago, and I'd also registered at Babies R Us. However, as baby stuff tends to, their stock changes so frequently that it was frustrating to me to keep researching replacements for items that they'd decided to discontinue for whatever reason. Amazon is nice that way because, unless the manufacturer has stopped making it, I'm very likely to be able to find what I want. I like to have items that have been around for a little while and that are highly reviewed by several people - I've seen (and purchased) too many of the "new cute things" that end up being cheap junk three months down the road.
Now, I have *no* problem with people not going off of my registry. I have no problem with them looking at my registry and then finding the items at a different store. I don't even have a problem with them coming to my shower WITHOUT a present! But is it too much to ask that they do it without making me an part of the process? I feel like I'm in a no-win situation.
"What do you want me to get you?"
"Oh, you're too sweet. You know, I'm truly not expecting anything."
"No, I'm buying you something. What do you want?"
"Well, if you'd like to look at my registry, I have some items listed on Amazon.com."
"Are you registered anywhere else?"
"I'm not, unfortunately. I was but they kept discontinuing my stuff so I decided to keep it all in one place."
"Oh. Because I don't usually shop Amazon because *insert some excuse about shipping prices here.*"
"I understand. Well, you totally don't have to go off of the registry if you don't want to. Or, if you want, I get free shipping for most of the items - I can order it for you if you'd like."
*random uncomfortableness on both sides insues here, followed by me saying . . .*
"Well, you're welcome to look and see if you can find it somewhere local if you'd like. I'm not sure who has what in stock."
"*insert frustration about not knowing where else to find said item*"
"Yeah - well, you know, I'm truly fine with whatever you'd like to do. I'm just so glad you can celebrate with me. You truly don't need to bring me anything specific." (this is said sincerely, by the way)
"But I want to get you what you want! Tell me what you want."
...
Am I missing something? Help me out here.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Limerick Fun
So Kev and I were IMing each other tonight (sitting all of like, three feet away from each other) and he asked me if I wanted to hear a limerick. The following gems proceeded:
By Kevin
There once was a pie from Seattle,
who thought that each schooday was a battle.
So she told off her boss,
then gave that job a toss.
And now she stays home with the flabble.
Never give poo to a doofus.
Especially if he's a half-wit named Rufus.
You'll find in due time
that his drool will unwind,
and then you will have to call him Poofus.
There was a lonely can of potted meat,
who no one wanted to eat.
So he sat and got dusty,
and his scent it got musty.
And he smelled like a piggy in heat.
There are six rabbits in a warren.
When there were only two it was borin'.
So the rabbits had sex,
then out came the kets.
Now it's a blast even if it's pourin'
By Chris
There once was a Boynana named Fuzzy,
who was sitting down writin' because he
had a fabulous mind,
and needed to unwind -
because his hot wife was a huzzy.
There once was a man from Kentucky,
who found out he couldn't get lucky.
So he pulled off his pecker,
and said "t'hell with Hector -
I'll get boobies and be called Mama Ducky."
Anybody want to publish us? We're cheap.
By Kevin
There once was a pie from Seattle,
who thought that each schooday was a battle.
So she told off her boss,
then gave that job a toss.
And now she stays home with the flabble.
Never give poo to a doofus.
Especially if he's a half-wit named Rufus.
You'll find in due time
that his drool will unwind,
and then you will have to call him Poofus.
There was a lonely can of potted meat,
who no one wanted to eat.
So he sat and got dusty,
and his scent it got musty.
And he smelled like a piggy in heat.
There are six rabbits in a warren.
When there were only two it was borin'.
So the rabbits had sex,
then out came the kets.
Now it's a blast even if it's pourin'
By Chris
There once was a Boynana named Fuzzy,
who was sitting down writin' because he
had a fabulous mind,
and needed to unwind -
because his hot wife was a huzzy.
There once was a man from Kentucky,
who found out he couldn't get lucky.
So he pulled off his pecker,
and said "t'hell with Hector -
I'll get boobies and be called Mama Ducky."
Anybody want to publish us? We're cheap.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
If I had a classroom that was truly my own . . .
So I've been thinking about this a lot this year. I was hoping I'd be able to have more or less my own classroom, or at least the half I was in charge of, but it was not to be. I understand that things don't work out sometimes, and I've turned in my notice as a large part of feeling totally unappreciated and stifled creativity-wise. Oh well. It's been disappointing but a good experience nonetheless.
As I was hoping this would be my first "real year" as a "real teacher," I've started playing with ideas in my head as to what I would want my classroom to look and feel like. Maybe this is truly just a "what if" exercise, but I feel it important, somehow, to put down my thoughts.
There was a school in Federal Way that I adored - it was totally different from the "norm," but the lessons were challenging and the students were uber-engaged while we were there. Some things I loved about the classroom were the following:
It didn't look like a typical classroom. There were reading areas and hands-on areas of the classroom, with activities out to be used and manipulated. The reading areas had couches with slip covers and a small "tree house"-like area for students to climb inside of and relax and read. I would love to set up a corner of my room like that, and have areas that students could retire to when they have free time to work on projects or puzzles or other quiet things. I don't think kids get to use their hands enough in different ways in school.
Now, for my students' desks, I would like to try having a circle around the room so we can all see each other at all times. This might make doing presentations a bit difficult but that could be worked around. But this way, I could keep an eye on everything that's going on, and easily see if other people have questions or need my help with something.
We would have living things in the classroom. Nothing with fur. :) But fish, definitely. And possibly some kind of reptile, depending on what it is and where it could be stored.
Morning work would consist of 3 worksheets - a math/problem solving sheet, a spelling/handwriting sheet, and some kind of reading comp/word ladder kind of sheet. That's IT. It drives me crazy for students to be doing worksheet after worksheet all morning.
We would have monthly community service projects, and a class newsletter that the kids would put together once every other week to keep parents engaged in what was going on and help kids develop conversational writing skills.
As far as environment - we'd have two big bulletin-type boards in the classroom with student work and achievements, and also places around the room to put up new vocabulary words, spelling words, and a place for the quote of the week that the students would have to write a couple of paragraphs interpreting and applying to their lives each week. Once a month, they'd make up their own to have someone else interpret and apply.
Most classes would be run normally, but with music, art, and physical activity built into the lesson plans whenever it made sense to do so. And we'd definitely have hands-on time with science, as well as social studies. :)
Something else I liked about the school in Federal Way - the lights weren't flourescent lights. There were lamps, and natural light, and even white Christmas lights all around. It was a bit darker than a normal schoolroom but in a restful way. Without the harsh glare, it looked more like a living room area, but in a professional way. It was really quite remarkable.
So yeah - that's my ideal setting. It's good to dream. And now Kev's staring at me expectantly, so I'm going to close. *laugh*
As I was hoping this would be my first "real year" as a "real teacher," I've started playing with ideas in my head as to what I would want my classroom to look and feel like. Maybe this is truly just a "what if" exercise, but I feel it important, somehow, to put down my thoughts.
There was a school in Federal Way that I adored - it was totally different from the "norm," but the lessons were challenging and the students were uber-engaged while we were there. Some things I loved about the classroom were the following:
It didn't look like a typical classroom. There were reading areas and hands-on areas of the classroom, with activities out to be used and manipulated. The reading areas had couches with slip covers and a small "tree house"-like area for students to climb inside of and relax and read. I would love to set up a corner of my room like that, and have areas that students could retire to when they have free time to work on projects or puzzles or other quiet things. I don't think kids get to use their hands enough in different ways in school.
Now, for my students' desks, I would like to try having a circle around the room so we can all see each other at all times. This might make doing presentations a bit difficult but that could be worked around. But this way, I could keep an eye on everything that's going on, and easily see if other people have questions or need my help with something.
We would have living things in the classroom. Nothing with fur. :) But fish, definitely. And possibly some kind of reptile, depending on what it is and where it could be stored.
Morning work would consist of 3 worksheets - a math/problem solving sheet, a spelling/handwriting sheet, and some kind of reading comp/word ladder kind of sheet. That's IT. It drives me crazy for students to be doing worksheet after worksheet all morning.
We would have monthly community service projects, and a class newsletter that the kids would put together once every other week to keep parents engaged in what was going on and help kids develop conversational writing skills.
As far as environment - we'd have two big bulletin-type boards in the classroom with student work and achievements, and also places around the room to put up new vocabulary words, spelling words, and a place for the quote of the week that the students would have to write a couple of paragraphs interpreting and applying to their lives each week. Once a month, they'd make up their own to have someone else interpret and apply.
Most classes would be run normally, but with music, art, and physical activity built into the lesson plans whenever it made sense to do so. And we'd definitely have hands-on time with science, as well as social studies. :)
Something else I liked about the school in Federal Way - the lights weren't flourescent lights. There were lamps, and natural light, and even white Christmas lights all around. It was a bit darker than a normal schoolroom but in a restful way. Without the harsh glare, it looked more like a living room area, but in a professional way. It was really quite remarkable.
So yeah - that's my ideal setting. It's good to dream. And now Kev's staring at me expectantly, so I'm going to close. *laugh*
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Oh my goodness.
I can't believe it happened.
I'm PREGNANT!!!!
So let's back up a bit. I should probably put the whole ordeal down so I can remember it as one of those "you wouldn't believe what Mommy and Daddy were thinking" stories.
So Kev and I had invitro #2 scheduled for September 11, 2008 (yes, I noticed the date as well). We already had five beautiful little blastocysts who were in wonderful condition in their cozy little freezer, and the plan was to implant two of them this time since we wanted to give my chances a bit of a boost.
So commence the shots, the pills, the hormones . . . *laugh* Finally the 11th comes and (much to my boss' annoyance) we take the day off to have the transfer done. We get there and have an acupuncture treatment (which was actually pretty cool - I wasn't sure what to expect) and my bladder's almost full to bursting by the time it's done. I'm relaxed and happy and thrilled to not be hyperstiming like last time.
So the acupuncturist tells us the doctor wants to talk with us, and from what she's saying it just sounds like he wants to go over all the paperwork so we can get the transfer done. Fine, that's totally normal. We're ready.
Except.
He comes in and says that he doesn't know what to tell us . . . but they've thawed 4 of the five blastocysts so far. Two are dead. Two are barely hanging on for dear life. He says the chances are pretty much slim to none that they'll even implant, let alone be viable.
We were floored. How did we go from having five embryos where the lowest grade was a B (and most of them were in the A range!!!) to two dead and two at C- quality? He offered to go ahead and transfer them, and said he could also try to thaw the last one at this point and see what happened since there was basically no real chance all three would take. We told him to go ahead, and sobbed in each others' arms as he closed the curtain. We were angry, and scared, and I was ready to just put my clothes back on and go home. I didn't want to go through the "wait and see" feelings I'd had just a few months ago, this time with no real chance of success. I felt totally defeated.
So about 20 minutes later he comes back in and tells us he's thawed the last one. He says it's an A quality embryo. I didn't believe him. He said he'd taken pictures as proof. *laugh* Keep in mind that they generally thaw the ones with the best chance of survival first - so this was the runt of the litter, so to speak, but the only one with much of a chance after all was said and done. We decided to implant all three and go from there, though I hardly stopped crying until the acutal transfer took place and I saw how cute the little blastocysts were. *laugh* Yeah, I know. I'm a girl.
So fast forward a bit - I've told my school class about the invitro (which was probably not my best idea) so they're asking about it, but I'm really not feeling confident or even hopeful that things worked out this time. It feels like last time, only now the chances of the one viable blastocyst are even slimmer, so I ready myself for a negative. The next 9 days go by without much of anything - I start feeling a little bit like I'm getting ready for my period, but I have no real "pregnancy" feelings and the symptoms I am having are so light that I'm sure it's just my body getting ready to start menstruation. I even told my kids not to get their hopes up since I really felt absolutely nothing that I was told I could expect to.
Kev, on the other hand, is a mess. He's constantly worried and anxious, which makes me feel terrible because I feel like it's going to be another let down for him when the tests are negative (and another failure on my part). Two days before we're supposed to go in to have my hCG levels tested, he announces that he wants to have me take a pregnancy test.
This was after work, so not even the first-morning urine was going to be in our favor. I told him I'd take it, but he was going to have to realize that it was VERY likely going to be negative.
He said he was ready. So I took it.
We waited for a minute or so afterward and whadda ya know - I see no second line. So I head out to the kitchen to get it cleaned up for dinner and try to take my mind off of things. About 10 minutes later, Kev goes back into the bathroom and I hear his voice say "Chris? Come here."
"What?" I ask. "Do you see something?" (this was said with much doubt in my voice)
"I don't know. Just come here."
So I go in there and sure enough, there's a very, VERY faint second line. I didn't know what to say, or what to think. I just stared at it and told Kev "Yeah, there's definitely something there. I see it too." We very lightly tread on the topic that I might be pregnant (keep in mind, I'm just barely starting to think it's possible) and decide to test again the next morning, first thing.
The next morning (a Friday) comes and Kev looks for the second test that he's sure is under our sink.
No test.
So at 6:30 a.m., my dear sweet husband goes to the grocery store and buys TWO more BOXES of tests. I patiently wait and hold my bladder as best I can.
So the second round of tests are done (we do two more this time, of different brands), and we wait breathlessly for the results. I'm still sitting on the toilet at first, until I realize I should probably get washed up either way. *laugh* But I can't take my eyes off the tests, and by the time my hands are washed and things are put back on as they should be, I'm ready to see that dang little hourglass tell me SOMETHING. (I was looking at a digital test. Kev was looking at one that wasn't)
When it flashed "Pregnant," I squealed. Actually, I squee'd, which is higher pitched and often louder, then clamped a hand over my mouth as I realized it was still like 6:50 a.m. and our neighbors were not going to appreciate us waking them up. Kev's test also had a faint second line - definitely faint, but definitely there - and we proceeded to take the day off from work to celebrate (take that, Boss lady).
We took another three tests the next day before we went in for my blood draw and as they all read positive, we were on top of the world.
So that's mostly it. There have been some worries and scares so far (the first 10-12 weeks are pretty scary as far as miscarriage chances go), but I'm happy to report that we had two hCG tests and the scores went from 56.4 (pretty good) to 169 (VERY good) in three days. We also had our first ultrasound done this morning (was supposed to be Monday, but I freaked out when I saw blood in my underwear yesterday and the doctor was nice enough to let us come in today to make sure things are ok) and got to see the heartbeat! Kev was tearing up and I had such a thrill go through my body as I watched the flashing that I felt I could sit there for hours and just watch. The baby's heartbeat is 97 beats per minute (which is perfect, the doctor said), and the blood looks like it was just from my placenta growing and probably pushing through a blood vessel.
I can hardly believe it. I'm so afraid to be too excited yet, but I can't help it to a large extent. We're hopeful and I go back in two more weeks from Monday to have my next ultrasound. :D
I'm PREGNANT!!!!
So let's back up a bit. I should probably put the whole ordeal down so I can remember it as one of those "you wouldn't believe what Mommy and Daddy were thinking" stories.
So Kev and I had invitro #2 scheduled for September 11, 2008 (yes, I noticed the date as well). We already had five beautiful little blastocysts who were in wonderful condition in their cozy little freezer, and the plan was to implant two of them this time since we wanted to give my chances a bit of a boost.
So commence the shots, the pills, the hormones . . . *laugh* Finally the 11th comes and (much to my boss' annoyance) we take the day off to have the transfer done. We get there and have an acupuncture treatment (which was actually pretty cool - I wasn't sure what to expect) and my bladder's almost full to bursting by the time it's done. I'm relaxed and happy and thrilled to not be hyperstiming like last time.
So the acupuncturist tells us the doctor wants to talk with us, and from what she's saying it just sounds like he wants to go over all the paperwork so we can get the transfer done. Fine, that's totally normal. We're ready.
Except.
He comes in and says that he doesn't know what to tell us . . . but they've thawed 4 of the five blastocysts so far. Two are dead. Two are barely hanging on for dear life. He says the chances are pretty much slim to none that they'll even implant, let alone be viable.
We were floored. How did we go from having five embryos where the lowest grade was a B (and most of them were in the A range!!!) to two dead and two at C- quality? He offered to go ahead and transfer them, and said he could also try to thaw the last one at this point and see what happened since there was basically no real chance all three would take. We told him to go ahead, and sobbed in each others' arms as he closed the curtain. We were angry, and scared, and I was ready to just put my clothes back on and go home. I didn't want to go through the "wait and see" feelings I'd had just a few months ago, this time with no real chance of success. I felt totally defeated.
So about 20 minutes later he comes back in and tells us he's thawed the last one. He says it's an A quality embryo. I didn't believe him. He said he'd taken pictures as proof. *laugh* Keep in mind that they generally thaw the ones with the best chance of survival first - so this was the runt of the litter, so to speak, but the only one with much of a chance after all was said and done. We decided to implant all three and go from there, though I hardly stopped crying until the acutal transfer took place and I saw how cute the little blastocysts were. *laugh* Yeah, I know. I'm a girl.
So fast forward a bit - I've told my school class about the invitro (which was probably not my best idea) so they're asking about it, but I'm really not feeling confident or even hopeful that things worked out this time. It feels like last time, only now the chances of the one viable blastocyst are even slimmer, so I ready myself for a negative. The next 9 days go by without much of anything - I start feeling a little bit like I'm getting ready for my period, but I have no real "pregnancy" feelings and the symptoms I am having are so light that I'm sure it's just my body getting ready to start menstruation. I even told my kids not to get their hopes up since I really felt absolutely nothing that I was told I could expect to.
Kev, on the other hand, is a mess. He's constantly worried and anxious, which makes me feel terrible because I feel like it's going to be another let down for him when the tests are negative (and another failure on my part). Two days before we're supposed to go in to have my hCG levels tested, he announces that he wants to have me take a pregnancy test.
This was after work, so not even the first-morning urine was going to be in our favor. I told him I'd take it, but he was going to have to realize that it was VERY likely going to be negative.
He said he was ready. So I took it.
We waited for a minute or so afterward and whadda ya know - I see no second line. So I head out to the kitchen to get it cleaned up for dinner and try to take my mind off of things. About 10 minutes later, Kev goes back into the bathroom and I hear his voice say "Chris? Come here."
"What?" I ask. "Do you see something?" (this was said with much doubt in my voice)
"I don't know. Just come here."
So I go in there and sure enough, there's a very, VERY faint second line. I didn't know what to say, or what to think. I just stared at it and told Kev "Yeah, there's definitely something there. I see it too." We very lightly tread on the topic that I might be pregnant (keep in mind, I'm just barely starting to think it's possible) and decide to test again the next morning, first thing.
The next morning (a Friday) comes and Kev looks for the second test that he's sure is under our sink.
No test.
So at 6:30 a.m., my dear sweet husband goes to the grocery store and buys TWO more BOXES of tests. I patiently wait and hold my bladder as best I can.
So the second round of tests are done (we do two more this time, of different brands), and we wait breathlessly for the results. I'm still sitting on the toilet at first, until I realize I should probably get washed up either way. *laugh* But I can't take my eyes off the tests, and by the time my hands are washed and things are put back on as they should be, I'm ready to see that dang little hourglass tell me SOMETHING. (I was looking at a digital test. Kev was looking at one that wasn't)
When it flashed "Pregnant," I squealed. Actually, I squee'd, which is higher pitched and often louder, then clamped a hand over my mouth as I realized it was still like 6:50 a.m. and our neighbors were not going to appreciate us waking them up. Kev's test also had a faint second line - definitely faint, but definitely there - and we proceeded to take the day off from work to celebrate (take that, Boss lady).
We took another three tests the next day before we went in for my blood draw and as they all read positive, we were on top of the world.
So that's mostly it. There have been some worries and scares so far (the first 10-12 weeks are pretty scary as far as miscarriage chances go), but I'm happy to report that we had two hCG tests and the scores went from 56.4 (pretty good) to 169 (VERY good) in three days. We also had our first ultrasound done this morning (was supposed to be Monday, but I freaked out when I saw blood in my underwear yesterday and the doctor was nice enough to let us come in today to make sure things are ok) and got to see the heartbeat! Kev was tearing up and I had such a thrill go through my body as I watched the flashing that I felt I could sit there for hours and just watch. The baby's heartbeat is 97 beats per minute (which is perfect, the doctor said), and the blood looks like it was just from my placenta growing and probably pushing through a blood vessel.
I can hardly believe it. I'm so afraid to be too excited yet, but I can't help it to a large extent. We're hopeful and I go back in two more weeks from Monday to have my next ultrasound. :D
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